Fighting the Flu
by Gun toten Girly
Summary: -Oneshot- Bella is seeing strange things. Edwards prancing in tutus, Spanish ramblings, and burrito holds. Can the flu get any worse for her? Or will she have to face Betty Botter in a show down? Edward/Bella fluff, Humor


**Authoress Note: **_Yeah, yeah. You guessed my tactic. I'm trying to distract everyone from guessing my un-updated "Occurrences in Time". You caught me. Guilty as charged._

_Anyway, I have many other stories on the way. 3 multi-chaptered that need updating, one that needs to be posted, and about 3 more one shots that need to be posted, too._

_So yeah, hope you all like this one and..._

_I dunno, Enjoy!_

* * *

**Fighting the Flu**

* * *

_"Bella,"_

Wow, that voice sounded really pretty. It was so... soft and melodic. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should be waking up, but all the noise did for me was drag me in deeper. Whoever's voice it was sounded like a lullaby, and I never wanted to leave it.

"Bella."

Okay, it was getting a little louder. A peculiar ringing started to thump in my head, and my head throbbed painfully. Whoever's voice it was _really_ had to bring it down a notch; they were loud!

"Bella," This time the voice was accompanied by a soft shaking. "Wake up." My head felt dizzy and my stomach churned. Something clicked in my head, and my eyes shot open. This was not how it was supposed to feel like getting up in the mornings. Sure, they were bad, but I've never felt... _sick_ since coming here. Well, never mind. There was that one time I got the stomach flu from Mike —

I reflexively stopped my thoughts from going that far. Remembering _that _specific time in my past was never an easy subject to casually flit memories around with.

"Oh, good! You're awake!"

The screeching echoed in my ear and I clutched my head instinctively to help ease the pain._ Who_ _was that?_ Whoever it was had better start whispering or else they're looking forward to me screaming at them.

"Oh, sorry." They whispered. Good, they got the memo.

"What?" I groaned. My stomach was gurgling uncomfortably and my body was starting to ache all over. I looked over next to me and there was someone — or some_thing _— in my vision. Everything was blotchy and smeared, so I couldn't get a good grip of reality yet. The blurry images made my head ache harder, and I moaned under the pain. Why was I hurting so much?

"Sorry, but I had a vision."

Ah, so it was Alice. That explained the loud voice. My eyes focused on a figure and it was, indeed, Alice, standing there beside my bed. When has she been so _short_? She looked like a munchkin when compared to my bed. Her hair was in disarray, a feat extremely unusual for someone like her — especially when she doesn't even sleep. I racked my brain for possible answers but all it did was make it hurt more.

Wait, she had a vision?

"What?" I whispered. I noticed my throat sounded hoarse and it felt scratchy, like someone slammed sandpaper in my mouth. I saw Alice wince, apparently from my dry voice. I tried to clear it, but all it did was light the fire inside. The burning made my head throb again, and I winced involuntarily.

"Yeah, I need to take you to my house." She said softly. I raised an eyebrow at her. Why did she need to take me to her house when she was standing right here?

She seemed to understand my confusion. "You're sick." She said rather bluntly, not even lowering her voice. I hissed softly and grabbed for my temples, rubbing soft circles on them to try and sooth the pain.

"I already left a note for Charlie explaining everything," Alice whispered again. "But I need to get you to my house, and quick." My eyes started to close from my lack of sleep, and I felt something extremely cold press against my forehead. It felt _so_ good. Then I noticed that I did feel a little sweaty underneath all these covers.

I started to throw the blankets off, only to upset my stomach further. I froze, not even daring to breathe. The muscles in my abdomen clenched tightly and I drew in a calming, even breath. I really didn't want to vomit this morning.

...Which brought me back to Alice, who was standing wide-eyed next to me. It took me a minute to realize she had no idea what to do; she hasn't been sick in almost 80 years.

"I'm okay," I tried to reassure her, but my hoarse voice seemed to derail that encouragement. I remembered how hot it was underneath the blankets and pushed them slowly off of me.

Alice stopped me before I could go past my knees.

"No," she murmured softly. "You need these blankets on so you can break your fever."

I have a fever? No way! I slowly and cautiously placed my hand on my cheek, so as not to make my stomach uneasy. Sure enough, my cheek was clammy and hot.

"Alice." I moaned. I really wanted the blankets off.

"No, Bella. I need to take you to my house so Carlisle can have a look at you."

I didn't have a chance to respond, for my throbbing head pounded me into a deep, thoughtless sleep.

* * *

When I woke up, I was wrapped tightly in many layers. In a dark, malicious corner of my mind, I heard a deep throat chuckling, screaming something about burritos.

Wow, I was really delusional. If an evil man in my mind was cackling about tortilla wrapped Mexican food, I must've been pretty far gone.

"Bella?"

I remembered, absently, something like this happening before; a soft, musical voice breaking through my sleep while I was sweating profusely underneath a blanket.

But this voice sounded much more... gentle, almost like they were coaxing a lamb outside to meet a lion.

Oh, wait. I know _that_ sounded familiar. A lion and a lamb...

"Bella,"

Oh! I know! This is like charades! Where one person guesses what's going on! I can do this! Now, where have I heard the term _lion and lamb_ before, and that voice?

"Bella."

I could've sworn I heard elevator music in the corner of my mind somewhere. Like it was taunting me for being so slow and stupid, like the answer was right in front of me...

It was either that or the Jeopardy theme song. They sounded awfully close alike. Maybe it was elevator music in the form of the Jeopardy song.

Who knew?

I felt a jolt of shock race through me.

Oh my god... that guy that was laughing evilly would know! He would know everything, considering he's in my mind!

I heard muttering from somewhere close, but it was still muffled. Suddenly, a loud voice shook me out of my yammering thoughts, making the evil dude scream in a Spanish language. Good thing I had taken Spanish class with Jessica.

"Bella! Wake up!"

_Jessica._ Hmm. That name sounded familiar. I remember a mass of dark curls and an annoyingly high-pitched voice.

Oh! She was the girl that told me about Edward and his family! I remember her now!

The mention of Edward and his family brought me back around to previous times. I vaguely remembered Alice breaking into my bedroom and telling me I was sick...

Oh God. With a sinking realization I figured out that I was becoming delusional. I recalled a voice trying to bring me back into the living, and I quickly complied with whoever's effort it was.

My vision was blurry when I opened my eyes. I tried to blink it away, but it looked like someone had put my head underneath water.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're awake!" Edward's voice drifted into my ears gently, but then soon screamed in my ear drums. Ow. That hurt.

I blinked away the remnants of the smear in my eyesight and got a nice, headache-ing view of bright gold eyes. Even if they were gorgeous and would absolutely make me melt to my knees, they were _bright_, and right now I really didn't want to see light of any kind. I would be happy to crawl into the corner with the evil man in my mind and just sit there.

I groaned and turned on my side, trying to get away from the brightness. Even though I loved Edward with all my heart and would rather die then see him in pain, my body wasn't exactly on conscious terms right now. My retinas were still on the blink and even the color of Alice's hair was bright.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" Edward's velvet soft voice pounded into my head, causing me to whimper pitifully in pain. My forehead was still clammy with my hair plastered to it. In fact, _everywhere_ felt hot.

I pushed the blankets off of me, trying futilely to squirm out of my burrito hold.

_Oh, _that's_ where the maniac guy got burrito from. Huh._

"No, sweetheart," His voice was a soft whisper, and this time my spine shivered in pleasure. "You have to keep the blankets on."

If any thoughts of Edward that were sweet and lovable remained, they instantly vanished at what he said. My throat erupted into a hoarse growl, ripping it apart in a flurry of needles and flames. I immediately stopped and grasped at it painfully. What was going on?

I assessed my body quickly. My legs, arms, back, and head ached. My stomach felt queasy and my throat was a bonfire.

"Isabella," a gruff voice said. "Stop, squirming right now."

Why did Edward call me by my full name?

"No." I said. I would've been surprised if anyone could have heard it, let alone understand it. But, of course, since Edward had superb hearing and because he's one of the smartest people I know, he heard as if I was talking regularly in a conversation.

"Please, love, for me?" How could you argue with a voice like that? He sounded so weak and pathetic, like I was dying in his arms right now. His tone caught me off guard, he never begged me to keep still and comply with his wishes this badly before. So I was sick, big deal. Why would he want me to listen? I've never done it before.

_"__Porque__,"_ Said the Spanish dude in my head. _"__Usted no recuerda que sus padres murieron de una enfermedad? Idiota__."_

Oh.

_Oh!_

Oh God. I can't believe I'm causing Edward this much pain. For once I was seriously glad I took that Spanish class, or else I wouldn't have been able to understand what the guy had said. I completely and utterly forgot about his parents and how they passed...

So now I felt even guiltier as I came to a halt with my wriggling and just lay limp in the blankets. I told myself that I would never, _ever_ hurt Edward. But now, as I struggled to escape from the death grip the quilts had on me, I was causing him more then just pain. I was frightening him; his only experience with any kind of illnesses had been when he was in the hospital with the Spanish Influenza, and his parents had died from it.

So... I had the flu? But I knew that didn't explain my throat. Maybe I had a sore throat too.

"Bella?"

I looked over at the love of my lif — existence. His beautifully golden eyes didn't seem so bright as before and I noticed that they held a rather large amount of panic in them. I truly didn't want to see him fuss over me, so I lifted my hand from its place on my neck and gently laid it on his cool cheek. Wow, his coldness really felt good, but I couldn't think of anything else besides diminishing the frantic way his eyes looked into mine.

"Edward," I croaked. His face visibly relaxed but cringed at the same time. I didn't blame him, my voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard, and I was instantly even _more_ culpable when I remembered that his ears were at least a hundred times more sensitive than mine.

"Oh, Bella!" My brain hammered behind my forehead and I couldn't prevent the wince that followed.

"Oh," his angelic voice drifted to a whisper and I was instantly grateful for it. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. If I had known you would've gotten this sick —"

"Edward," I wheezed again. I knew where he was going with this. "It's not your fault."

He didn't even comprehend what I had said, just kept on blaming himself for what had happened. "Yes it is. I might have left the window open or didn't wrap you up tight enough or —"

Again I cut him off before he can waddle deeper in self-loathing. "Edward, it's the _flu_. I could've only gotten it from someone else."

He sighed and gave up apologizing to me for the time being. I saw something behind him and tried to focus my sensitive eyes on it. But whenever I tried, it would blur out of control.

"Here," said a familiar voice, "these are the meds that she should take every 4 hours, two at a time."

"Thank you," whispered Edward. I turned my attention back to him, only then realizing it was Carlisle that had walked in.

"Bella, you have to take these." As if showing them to me would want me to take them more, he held out his hands and in it were two small blue pills. My throat burnt and all I wanted to do was get a glass of water. I shook my head, panting wildly from the immense heat. The sweat started to roll off my face and drip into my hair, so I struggled fruitlessly to get out the blanket.

Edward stopped me before I could so much as squirm an inch. "Please, Bella, keep the blankets on. You need to break your fever." A cold hand pressed to my forehead, and I sighed in relief. When he pulled it away I groaned. He chuckled humorlessly from beside me, and I closed my eyes to try and sleep again.

"Bella? Bella, please wake up, love. You need to take these pills." I grumbled and turned over on my side, a Herculean effort from all of the blankets wrapped around my torso. I could almost imagine Edward grabbing mouth himself and shoving the pills inside.

_"C'mon!"_ Screamed the Spanish guy, and I was seriously grateful that Edward couldn't hear my mind right now. _"__toma justa la píldora estúpida y la consigue encima con! Él le dará el agua, también, usted sabe.__"_

My eyes bolted open, only to meet Edward's topaz eyes again. Did he climb over the bed just to meet my gaze? Wow...

"_Estúpido, poco—"_

"Okay," I rasped. Edward grinned, though his crooked smile didn't reach his eyes. I'm guessing that he didn't like it that I was sick. Though I didn't like it either. It made me feel weak and insignificant. Which I was compared to Edward and his family. But I didn't let that faze me. I was having fun with Edward and I finally got to let my immature side out without having him think I was an idiot.

Not that I _wasn't_ one, but still.

His hand held out the two pills plus a glass of water. I opened my mouth, not finding a way to reach up and take the pills myself. "Ah!"

Edward's eyes were shocked. "Just take them." His hand nudged my blanketed shoulder. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, right." His eyes glared at the blankets, as if wondering if he should take them off me. The Spanish dude, who I shall now call Eduardo—hehe—pulled out some rather mean looking maracas and began to throw a fiesta.

Edward's hands reached up to take the blanket away. What would I do when I was free? There was no way I could outrun him, but you know what sounded really good right now?

Ice.

Not just any kind of ice; _really_ cold ice.

Ice, ice, ice, ice...

Nice thoughts to cool a burning throat down, eh? Nice, ice... Giggle.

The very second I was released of my burrito hold I launched out of Edward's bed. I hindered a guess that he was too shocked to move, but soon I heard him call my name.

"Beautiful!"

I half tripped down the stairs. Beautiful? Where did _that_ come from? Oh well, my need for ice was stronger then my curiosity. I raced into the kitchen, sliding across the tile in my haste. I swear I saw Alice and what looked like a really tall hay stack next to her, but I brushed it off.

Only three people knew of the result that followed if I ate ice. Renee, Phil, and Charlie. I never really told anyone else, not finding the need to, but in a couple of minutes the entire Cullen family will know why I tried to avoid it.

'Cause when I eat ice, things happen.

As in: I get _so incredibly_ hyper.

I shoved the cube into my mouth, not remembering where I got it from. By now Eduardo was waving a red flag in front of a bull, screaming "Olé!" at the top of his lungs. Eduardo was right, this was dangerous.

But who cares, right?

Edward _finally_ reached me, eyes wild with fright and worry. "Beautiful, what in the world do you think you are doing?"

The cold water trickled down my throat, cooling it down some. I could feel my heart start to accelerate from the freezing temperature, but I kept on sucking.

"Stop calling me beautiful," I slurred around the ice cube. Edward—the god, the perfect fiancée, the most amazing-est person on the planet, _my_ Edward—looked at me funny.

"Bella?" He looked confused, as if the choice of words I said was weird. Wait, my name was weird?

"Yes?" I responded. After all, he _did_ say my name.

Edward shook his head and grabbed my hand. His was extremely cold and I wiggled my fingers in his grasp. "Look, you're hand is really cold!" I giggled.

Edward had a panicked look on his face as he drug me upstairs. The last remnants of my ice cube faded, and suddenly I felt jumpy.

Hyper.

Excited over nothing.

Take your pick, I felt all of those.

Edward's grip was so gentle that I easily ripped my hand out of it. He looked confused for a moment, his hurt face glancing from my hand to my face before something finally registered.

How he figured it out so fast I'll never know.

"Beautiful—" Grrrrrrrowl, "you need to come with me so you can get better."

Better?

Butter?

Betty Botter bought some butter?

Was it bitter?

Did she buy better butter?

Wait, she made _batter_ out of the better butter that she bought?

No _flippin_' way!

I've been trying to do that for ages!

"I hate her," I mumbled.

"Hate who, Beautiful?"

I looked him straight in the eye when I said this. Completely sincere. "Betty Botter."

He looked frightened.

Again.

"Betty... Botter?" I nodded.

"Yeah, she made batter out of better butter; I haven't been able to do that yet."

Suddenly, Edward began to laugh. I heard other laughter from downstairs but I kept my ground.

Wait; there was water in the bedroom!

Gasp!

I charged full speed back into Edward's room, with him right on my tail. Do I even have a tail? We were monkeys in our past lives, right? So... I should have a tail! "He, Monkeys," I snickered after I downed the full glass, plus a couple of oval looking things that were placed next to it. I remember something about having to eat them, so I decided to swallow them instead.

They didn't taste very good.

No, not really.

No.

"Ew," I muttered, tossing the _glass_ cup behind my shoulder. It would break, right? Not as if it could do anything else.

I didn't hear it shatter—how depressing—but I didn't see much after that.

My last fading image was one of Eduardo prancing in a tutu.

I full-heartedly laughed myself to sleep.

"What am I going to do with you?" said a whisper from somewhere near. It sounded happy, so I just snuggled deeper into it.


End file.
